Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Phone calls to my sister

Jesus.

I wish I could talk to you.  Almost 18 years later.  I still wish I could call you everyday. 

Our family is not ok.  Your kid is running rampant.  Emily has everyone backed into a corner.

There was never a time since you left that we didn't need you.

 I'm not cut out to be the oldest.  I can't fill your shoes.

Mom and dad are getting old, they're both sick.  Adam is doing the best he can, after a shit load of rough times.  I'm pretty sure I'm always gonna be a fuck up.

Oh please come back.  I can't tell you how horribly I wish you could just come back.  I miss you, more than you could ever imagine. 

I don't think we are doing ok without you.  We've tried for almost 18 years.   We're not ok.

Please just take us to a different time line where you are still here.  Please come back.  

I'm not what they need.

I'm never going to be you.

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