My mind is blown right now.
I know I should write - I'm trying to get it together
Lit a cigarette... deep breaths
Damn. Wow.
Ok
So
I decided to find my grandma on the daughters of the American revolution site like 2 hours or so ago. Since then, I've found so many - so much - incredible amounts of information... the daisy chain that leads to me.
I've saved, screen-shotted, bookmarked. Holy crow.
It's incredible. There's so much.
I don't know how to - I don't have the words to say what I feel right now.
I've seen their names, graves, read stories, more than I can process.
Of course, this is only a minimal dabbling. The roots are even more numerous than I can ever imagine.
That was alot to take in
I'm not sure I really grasp it all just yet.
Because he loved her, and then their son loved another's daughter, and their daughter fell in love with another's son.... do I exist.
Grateful doesn't work.
Amazed is closer
What were they like?
I found a picture of my father's mother's, mother's parents. My great - great grandparents - at least two of them. I must admit resemblances to me and the family I knew.
I'm intimidated by the amount of research it takes to follow every line. I really am.
The roots run deep. We've been here since the 1600s. Which is nothing in the whole of human history... but really something in American history.
Just wow.
I am really glad it occurred to me to do this tonight. I feel overwhelmed with love and pride and connection...
May the lord help me to continue to learn, understand, and remember my earthly creators
Humbling, provoking, encouraging
If I may, thank you, grandmas and grandpas. I can't wait to learn more about you. I'm sorry I'm a complete fuck up.
This is too much for me tonight
Yep, I made it about me. Of course. Because that's what humans do.
You all came through and made and raised and fed and taught and disciplined and clothed and nursed and schooled and continued on... generation after generation....
Just
Thank you.
Love you.
Goodnight
