Saturday, April 26, 2025

today is great - I gotta get this off my chest

They were both alone for so long

It kills me to think about it. 

Weeks!!!  Fucking weeks!!!

I feel so many things

If someone had been there,  would they both still be here?  If someone had been with Michael, they could have helped him get his insulin.   If someone had been with Jeremy, 

I wish I had been

Death gets more familiar to accept as we experience more and more losses

Uncle Rusty says,  "you gotta stop making a big deal of it,  it just gets worse"

Funny,  I thought I had been doing better than the worst time.   Much better. 

Everything is always exactly as it should be. 

I suppose that includes knowing damn well if I had been there,  sigh

For fucks sake - weeks!!!

I'm so sorry
I'm sorry 

I love you,  Michael
May your spirit rest in peace,  that is - when it's ready

I love you,  Jeremy
May your spirit rest in peace,  it's what you were always missing

Thank you for loving me. ❤️ may I always remember. 

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