I need a hug

It's so hard accepting that I can't get what I need from D.  It's so hard knowing that he sees himself as better than my weak displays if needing emotional support.   

I know it's late, and I should be sleeping.  I have my first lesson to teach at 10 am.   I'm so sad.

I'm so lonely.

I don't want to be sad and lonely anymore while I'm taking care of someone who thinks I'm not valid.  I know I brought this on myself.

What do I do now?  How do I fix/end this madness.  I know this is not working for me.  

I need a hug.  He won't give me one come hell or high water.  He's too busy being right.  

We're both 45 years old.  When does it end?  The precious righteousness of pre-pubescence?  I'm over it... will he ever be?

Why can't I receive the same love and understanding I do my best to give?

I'm so lonely.

I need a hug.