I know goddamn well that no one really wants to know anyone well enough to heal them.
We're all just supposed to keep dancing through this sham of existence. This social mockery of reality. This civil obedience.
To scream from the mountain top "I am here!" Is no longer allowed. Now, the battle cry is so fucked up and convoluted.
We wear our masks, or resist for whatever political bs we identify with, in this covid era.
But, we've all been wearing them all along.
We're all liars, criminals, theives, whores, scoundrels, scum. In our deepest hearts. In our private places where no one ever wants to go with us. We are all awful deep down. But we are so good at this facade of life.
Who cares if it's all a matrix simulation? We are so in it, most of us can't get through our day without mind altering substances.
We feel all the pain and disappointment our parents told us to, and struggle to even get up for one more day, one more episode of this pretend empty life.
We know the dance so well. One two three, one two three... Turn slide dip. Whatever.
Knowing when we're all alone you will be tormented with the pain of lying to yourself and everyone else. Not because you want to, because you're a good girl and that what you were always taught. Oppression is the human way. And when no one can oppress us, we will do it even more to ourselves.
Oh, what is freedom but nothing left to lose. Thats the only definite answer I've ever heard. What does that mean? Why can't I be free? Free from me? I can tell you, no matter where you go, there you are.
I just want to go home. Safe, sound, peaceful. Just go home. I know someday... I hope.
