survival mode

It seems that Doug is finally learning the value of a dollar, at least in his own way.

I can't believe how long I spoiled him - I didn't ever think there were any other options.

He still manipulates just fine.  Me, his mom, whoever he can.  I don't know how much longer I can do this.  I used to justify this stuff because I brought a kid to care for.  Therefore, all the responsibility lied on me.  Now, it's been just us.  It's awful.

I'm sad a lot. I'm lonely all the time.  I am not allowed to sleep in a bed.  I'm in pain everyday from the couch.  He hates every word that comes out of my mouth, unless it's "what can I do for you".

I'm fucking tired.  I raised kids.  This guy.  Idk anymore.  He can even manage being out of bed for more than a work day.  

I want a real life.  With real goals, real plans, a real home.  

I'm on my own, as always, with all that.

Whatever.  I'm doing it to myself at this point.   I just don't know how much longer I can manage.