playing old familiar pieces

I haven't been playing a lot since we closed the shop.   I miss having my c7, and my perzina.   At home,  I have princess Charlotte's gunther spinet from Belgium,  made in the late 1920's/ early 1930s.  It has some limitations.   

Nevertheless,  I sat down to it tonight,  and played after a long dry spell.   I had beethoven's sonatas and chopin's nocturnes on the desk. 

I played the first two pages of Ludwigs opus 14 no. 2.  It was good.   Then I flipped randomly and sight read some movement of some sonata I'd never heard.   Then,  I tried to get into chopin,  but I just couldn't get into the nocturnes.  In my head,  I was looking for his raindrops prelude.  I didn't have the music for it. 

I got up for a bit.   Came back and played debussey's first arabesque.   Got up again,  and printed out the raindrop prelude.   

When I played it,  it was probably better than I felt like it was.   I couldn't remember the key signature.   I over thought everything.   Fuck. 

I got up.   I came back,  I played it again.   Still not completely happy.   

I started beethoven's pathetique 1st mvt.  I did ok. 

But then,  I kept thinking the key signature was the same as the raindrop.  It's not. 

Fuck.

Fuck. 

Fuck.